Badges

A guide to my merit badges and what I got them for:
1. breaking a swimmer's arm
2. mutant squirrel breeding
3. twirling

4. absinthe production/binge drinking
5. Indian murdering
6. dog sewing

7. starting forest fires
8. Biblical cocaine consumption
9. planting a tree that grows human hearts

10. pumpkin smashing
11. book burning
12. building perpetual motion machine

13. fried chicken eating
14. eyeball piercing
15. human caging

16. bird-watching
17. bell-cracking
18. telepathic control of magnets

19. personal rocketry
20. blackmailing a politician
21. Jewish heritage

22. moldy pancakes
23. biting off a snake's head
24. sniping

25. beating a polygraph
26. living at the bottom of the ocean
27. high school-level addition